Archive | February 2020

My take on ‘gendered learning’

Feb27

I was asked to talk about “Gendered learning” …

Is there even such a thing?
And if there is, what is the benefit of such segregation? I’d love to know!

We live in a world where all anyone wants is to be included. So why would we ever consider excluding children from certain types of play?  All children deserve the right to the benefits of  ALL areas of play and learning.

 

I know as a child, my peers played barbie while I played G-I-Jo’s.  We played together and it wasnt an issue. In fact, they often wanted to swap and be the G-I-Jo.

My friends came to play on the weekends and we spent our time outside, playing in the bush and estuary, wading through mangroves, trying to catch fish with our homemade lines, getting stuck in the mud, looking for crabs, climbing trees and going on adventures through the woods.

What effect did it have on me?

Well, for starters, they are my fondest childhood memories. Outside, in nature, with friends. These opportunities helped me build friendships, confidence and resilience. These adventures helped me develop a sense of who I am, a sense of curiosity and connection with the land.  I am so grateful for this time, of uninterrupted play.

This play certainly did not make me turn out to be a ‘Tom boy’!  I am a dress wearing, flower loving and kind hearted ECE (early childhood education) teacher, with a great sense of self worth.

 

Research is out ….

 

“Play is our brains favourite way of learning”

-Diane Ackerman

 

Through play children learn vital social skills, they learn to use their voice to express their needs, they learn about themselves, they learn to solve problems and negotiate, they learn about being a kind and respectful human being.  Through play, children make sense of and learn about the world around them.

 

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning, but for children play IS serious learning.

“Play really is the work of childhood.”

-Fred Rogers.

 

Boys need opportunities to play house, play with dolls and care for younger children. Allowing these opportunities for boys, teaches them the tools needed to grow up as kind men, sensitive to their partner and nurturing to their children. 
 

 

We all want this for our children right?

On the flip side, if girls want to play trucks and balls, let them, these games teach social aspects of learning, technology, co-ordination and team play.
Girls need opportunities to play rough and climb trees too. Risky play is healthy. It teaches body confidence and control, perseverance and negotiation.
Such play encourages problem solving and teaches children to use their voice, to speak up and express their needs. Our girls need this! So do our boys!

 

 

Fact:
Dress ups and dolls dont make your son gay or a ‘sissy’.
Rough play and mud won’t make your daughter a ‘Tom boy’.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

 

 

For more information on playing rough and playing outside with nature,  check out:

‘The Art of Roughhousing‘ By Anthony DeBenedet & Lawrence Cohen

‘Balanced and Barefoot: How unrestricted outdoor play makes for strong, confident and capable children.’ By Angela Handscom

 

“If you want your children to grow up as capable, independent adults, give them the space to make their own decisions without controlling their every move.

Let them try, let them fail. It is not about always getting it right, it is learning not to be afraid to try.”

– Brooke Hampton

 

….

On another note, similar but different, I feel it is also important to raise awareness to the impact of ‘gendered’ language and treatment.  I’m talking about comments to girls that they ‘pretty and kind’, and boys are ‘rough and tough’.  Or when boys are hurt or upset they should ‘harden up’ where as girls get a hug.

This is so wrong and detrimental in so many ways.

 

“The way we speak to our children matters. For those words travel beyond their ears, settling in to the creases of their hearts and crevices of their self worth.”

-unknown

 

Just take a moment to think about this. Do we want our boys growing up afraid to speak their hurt, keep their emotions inside and eventually committing suicide as a teen because of bottled up pain or insecurities they are too afraid to speak about and get help for?  NO!

Do we want our girls feeling like they have to be ‘pretty’ to BE valued or accepted?  As teens struggling through mental wellbeing, with eating disorders because they believe they must be beautiful on the outside or they won’t be enough for anyone? NO!

 

What we say influences and has huge impact on our children.

 

 

“Think before you speak.  Is it 

T-rue

H-elpful 

I-nspiring 

N-eseccary 

K-ind ???”

-Alan Redpath

 

Help us to raise kind, strong, empowered and independent souls, who aren’t afraid to speak their truth, stand up for themselves and let their uniqueness shine.

 

 

Shared with love,

Nga mihi nui

Nickie

 

Supporting children & families through transitions

Feb25

“I’d love your ideas on children transitioning rooms. Things like how we support children through visits, help them to form bonds with other teachers … and support the parents too. Also possibly the difference between transitioning rooms and new children starting the centre.”

-Instagram Follower

 

I touched on supporting children in their transition to a new centre in my blog:

Tearful drop offs to preschool/ECE

 

In this post I will share more depth to the process, as a robust transition for any change in routine is crucial!
Whether it’s a transition to a new centre, new room or new school… the transition process is the same.

When done responsively, listening to the individual child, it can be made smooth for all.

I have created a 7 step process to respectful transitioning.

 

1. Talk with the family.

Are they ready for this transition? Do they feel their child is ready for this transition?Do they have enough info about this transition? Do they know about what happens for their child in this new space? Do they know the teachers?

 

2. Invite the child to visit.

Has the child shown interest in exploring this new space? Have they talked about it? Invite the child to join you on a short visit. Perhaps you have an errand to run that they can join you on.
Next, invite the child to go for a play. Ask the child which teacher they would like to go with.

Continue inviting the child to visit over the next days and weeks. Having the same teacher taking the child for visits is ideal, someone the child feels most comfortable and safe with. You know the child but dont assume you know who they would prefer to visit with. Allow the child to choose.

Visiting allows the child to develop an understanding of ‘what happens here’. How it feels, the sounds, the rhythm, the routine and the expectations.
Children need to learn about the food system. Am I allowed to help myself whenever I want?
Are the doors to outside always open?
Where do I wash my hands and what is the process? What do I dry my hands with? If it is school visits, show them where the toilet is.
Visits will help the child best learn these things, so I advise you visit at different times throughout the day.
Extend these visits as the child shows they are intetested and ready.

 

3. Foster connection with new teachers.

Take time to introduce the child to the teacher/s and explain if they need help, it is ‘this’ person who will help you. This teacher then becomes the temporary primary caregiver for the child in this space.

Ultimately there are two of you that work cohesively together to support the transition for this child. The ‘safe person’ visiting with the child and the ‘go to’ person in the new space.

While visiting, work towards stepping back to allow the ‘go to’ teacher to work alongside, support and guide the child, at the childs pace. This will happen more and more as the child feels comfortable and builds trust.  A teacher getting up in a childs space is not going to support a respectful and trusting relationship.  We must respect the childs needs here and allow them time and space and allow the child to take the lead in this relationship.

 

4. Foster relationships with other children.

This starts with knowing the child and taking time to notice common interests and characteristics among others in this new space. Encourage the child to work alongside their peers, doing things they enjoy. Foster interaction between them in a meaningful and authentic way.
Let’s face it tho, you cannot make someone be ‘friends’ or ‘like’ someone else.  Respect this.  Allow the time and space for this to happen authentically. Having a culture of kindness will help this to happen as children are naturally social beings.

 

5. Step back and allow the child to lead.

When the child shows confidence to move away from you to play, or forms a connection with another child or teacher, work towards leaving for an hour. Allow the child to show you when they are ready.  Tell the child where you are going and remind them if they need help, who to ask. (Please dont sneak away from the child).  Hand over to the same teacher and let them know to call you back if the child becomes unsettled. We want the child to know they are safe and their needs will be met in this new space. When you go back, don’t just swoop in and take them back, guide them through situation that upset them.

Did they have conflict in their play? Support them so they can try again.

Did they get lost? Help them find their way.

Were they simply not comfort in this space? Spend more time.

You will know when the child is ready to spend longer periods of time in this new space, progressing full days/sessions. They will be busy, not focussed on you, joining in rituals and routines, eating and building relationships in their play.

As the child shows confidence and belonging in the new space, the ‘go to’ teacher can begin to invite the child to ‘come over to play’, leaving the ‘safe person’ in their original space.

 

6. Communicate with family.

At every stage through the transition process, it is important to share back with the family. Share with them how the child is going and connections they are making.

Face to face is key, but you can highlight special progress through stories and photos in their portfolio / learning assessment.

 

7. Check in.

Dont just disappear on the child and family that you had such a good bond with. Be sure to check in once the transition has happened in full.
Share your visit with the family and how the child seemed in their new space. This can be face to face, through photos and stories in the childs portfolio or even through text message if the child has started school.

 

 

 

From here, it could be worth sharing with the parents, my blog entry below, as it gives good advice for establishing consistent and effective ‘parent drop offs’ in the new setting.

Tearful drop offs to preschool/ECE

 

 

A penny for your thoughts,

 

Nga mihi nui,

Nickie

New Zealand Teacher Registration

Feb24

Teacher Registration is the process of proving you are capable, of meeting the requirements, of entry to the teaching profession in New Zealand. That is, you are a good judge of character, fit to teach and competent.

Over 2 years, you are required to gain evidence to prove your capabilities.

So what does this look like as evidence?

I have always been dedicated to personal and professional growth. I have always taken responsibility for me own learning. I am driven and reflective.
It was in my gaining of registration that these qualities proved really value. So number 1, take responsibility for your learning. Be dedicated and reflective, show willingness to learn.

 

“The capacity to learn is a gift.
The ability to learn is a skill.
The willingness to learn is a choice.”

-Brian Herbert

 

Many people get a mentor to guide and support them through the process. I am available and willing, from afar. Message me.

As you need practical hours to gain registration, a lot of the work is done during your daily duties/expectations. Do you write learning stories? Do you attend staff meetings? Do you add to internal/self reviews? Do you plan the enviro for learning? Do you contribute to professional dialogue/conversations? Have you attended professional learning opportunities? Have you had an appraisal?All of these things contribute to your documentation, don’t double your workload! This job is already paper heavy. You just need to take copies of this documentation and link clearly to the Standards for the teaching profession, as set out by the Teachers Council, in ‘Our Code, Our Standards’. 2 pieces of evidence per month is a good guideline.

Throughout your evidence, you should link to 2 core documents regularly….

1. Our Code, Our Standards
2. Te Whariki

You need to work through the Standards and ensure you have evidence for each standard. Sufficient evidence would be 2 pieces per standard.

You must have observations done on you and your practice, minimum 2 per year. If you have a mentor, you can ask they observe you, if not, your colleagues or leader would be a good alternative.

‘Reading reviews’ are a rich form of documentation as they show dedication to learning, reflection on your practice and potentially new learning put into place. Choose readings that are relevant to your learning. Regular reflections should also be done to prove deep thinking into your practice.

Linking evidence to the centre philosophy is valuable, however you should also consider creating, and actively reviewing your own personal teaching philosophy.

Through your documentation, you should make links to relevant theories, knowledge and published documents, including Te Whariki, Tataiako, Tapasa and consistent links to Our Code, Our Standards. Every piece of evidence needs to link to a Standard.

You are ultimately showing you have content knowledge, you understand how children learn, you are dedicated to the profession, take responsibility for your learning and practice, and you are reflective of your practice, showing continually growth.

 

“Be a life-long learner.
The best guarantee for an enduring and successful career is a love of learning.”

-Kirk Borne

 

You can find a whole lot more information on the NZ Teachers Council website @ www.teachingcouncil.nz

 

 

Its time to change our attitude

Feb23

We talk about being our best self so we can be the best teacher/parent/person.

What makes a great teacher and/or parent

How we view the world plays a huge part on our behaviour, our happiness and our being. What we put out, our children pick up. We need to be the change we want to see in the world.

The world can be a depressing place if we allow our focus and attention to fuel that. Our world is also a place of beauty when we take the time to notice and capture it.

 

We need to change our attitude and the way we view our world as this plays a huge part in our happiness.

 

This is me.

Which one are you??

 

As teachers and/parents we need to think about what we put out for the children to pick up.

The weather is a good place to start our reflection.

When all children hear is adults complaining about the weather, what does that teach a child.

Just imagine, it’s raining. Your child is on their way to their Early Childhood education. You are helping your child out of their carseat and you are getting wet “yuck yuck yuck, I’m getting all wet, eww it dripped down my back”. Then they run into the setting (to get out of the rain) and the first teacher they see makes comment about the rain “eww its so wet today, it’s going to be a wild inside day”. Then you walk inside and the next teacher says ” it’s so wet out there isn’t it? What are we going to do?”.

Then another parent arrives “yuck, it’s so wet out there”. And another “what a wet and wild day today”. And another “I just want to go home and stay in bed all day”.

What is your child going to think and feel?

 

Now imagine, same day. As a parent, you make no comment about the rain going down your back, but notice the rain racing down the window and the smell of the rain on the road.

You and your child walk calmly into the setting with an umbrella, gumboots and maybe a raincoat. You allow your child to jump in the puddles along the way, you notice the puddles on the play equipment, the worm holes, together you discover the ground is slippery and taste the drips from your nose, you feel the rain on your face. Then you see the first teacher and she says “good morning,  it’s so nice to see you. Did you feel the rain on your face as you arrived? It’s like kisses from the sky isn’t it?”

You walk inside and the teacher says “you look like you have all the gear to stay dry in the rain today.”

The next teacher says “oh I love hearing the rain on the roof and watching the rain drops race down the window”.

Now how do you feel?

 

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,  it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

– Unknown

 

Change your attitude. See the good in the world. You will be a far happier person for it and so will your children. Let them download positivity from you. Give them the tools to see the good in things.

So next time it rains, are you going to stand out in it, arms open wide, a smile on your face as you look up the the clouds, feeling kisses from the sky?

 

“Encouraging a child to go outside in all weather,  builds resilience, but more importantly,  saves them from spending their life,  merely tolerating the bad days in favour of a handful of good ones – a life of endless expectations and conditions where happiness hinges on sunshine.”

– Holistic Parenting Magazine

 

Nga mihi nui,

Nickie

Behaviours sent to challenge us

Feb23

I so often read and hear of people seeking help, guidance and support with behaviors that challenge us. Too often, when I get down to the nitty gritty, these behaviours are clearly challenging because of the way they are being viewed and dealt with.

“All behaviour is Communication.”
-Nigel Latta

Biting? Rough hands? Shouting? Tantrums?

What is the child trying to tell us?

And

How do we respond to the behaviour?

1. What is the behaviour telling us?
 
‘Understanding behaviour and building resilience in the classroom‘ recently shared to facebook…

 
Behaviour is a form of communication. Usually, behaviours that are challenging for adults, are children trying to communicate their frustration, pain, wants and/needs.

Often behaviours are viewed as ‘attention seeking’ however, it is more likely they are seeking connection.

 

“Attention seeking, is connection seeking”.

-Pennie Brownlee

 

2. How do we respond to the behaviour?

Do you send them to ‘time out’ or remove them from the space?
Do you talk to them about how this behaviour is not ok and alternative ways to communicate their wants and needs?
Or
Do you have them say sorry and not return untill they have?

Do you allow your frustration to take over your rational thought?

As adults, we get in to a negative spiral of only seeing the ‘bad stuff’.
Change your default to notice the good stuff, the positives.

“Connect before you correct.” -Nigel Latta

To foster connection,  we need to first build the relationship through positive interaction.  What seems like ‘children testing us’ is actually children trying to understand their place in the world and what is valued behaviour. They learn this based on how we respond to their actions. If we flip our perspective, valuing strengths and praising positives, we will form connection and promote behaviours we want to see more of.

 

“Where the attention goes, the behaviour grows”.

-the Incredible Years Teaching and Parenting course

 

Therefore, we need to praise the behaviour we want to see and ignore the behaviour we don’t want.

Using praise to highlight behaviours we want to see is our most powerful teaching and parenting tool.
In teaching, we talk about ‘positive opposites’.
To start with, focus on the behaviour that is challenging you and put all your energy into praising the ‘opposite’ behaviour, the one that you want to see.
For example, with a child who is biting, praise when the child uses kind hands and kind words.

“Great kind words”… “great kind hands”

These two praises go a long way and are versatile, meaning, you can use these two praises for almost all challenging behaviors (hitting, biting, tantrums, loud voices). The value comes, when you praise these behaviours meaningfully.  Create a culture of kindness.

Be sure when you praise, you make eye contact.

 

“Eye contact is heart contact”.
-The Heart School

 

We can use praise one on one with high fives, words, thumbs up or a kind hand on the shoulder.

We can also double the impact. We double the impact by praising in a group setting… “wow I noticed ….. used their words to ask for a turn when you were finished, that was kind”.
“Did you notice….. do ….? What a kind thing to do”.

We double the impact by telling the childs parents, in ear shot of the child.

We can use our team members to double the impact. Inform them of the behaviour and ask them to praise the child.

Remember,

“Where the attention goes, the behaviour grows”.

-the Incredible Years Teaching and Parenting course

 

Therefore, we need also need to work hard to ignore the behaviours we don’t want to see.  Feed the behaviour no attention.

Eye contact is connection, but it is also attention. Facial gestures are also attention.

Turn your back and walk away is ignore.
You can be smart about this…. you can stay in the same room yet still ignore the behaviour. You can still supervise 100% yet still ignore.
Simply pick up a book and be pretend to read, do the dishes, pick up a broom and sweep. As long as you ‘look’ like you are 100% interested in what you are doing, the child with see you are not interested in what they are doing. We as adults, gave the ability to use our senses without it looking like we are. We can see and hear without looking directly at the subject 😉
If they come over to you, you repeat your expectation… what you last told them …. “when you are calm then you can … play”.

Let’s be real… the child most likely understands this behaviour is not ok, so spare them the lecture. You are wasting your energy giving them a lecture about acceptable behaviour. You dont even need to tell them what they can and should do instead, because you are going to teach them this through praise of the behaviour you want to see, in the ‘sunny moments’ of play.

 

 

Here are a couple of practical examples …

BITING
Biting is usually a child who is trying to communicate They are communicating pain, frustration, wants or needs.

How do we support this?
If its teething we look at providing chewy options. Things they can bit. You can use language like “I cant let you bite …. but you can bite this chewy”.

If they are biting to communicate wants, needs or frustrations, we first need to ensure to safety of others. We cannot just ‘ignore’ this behaviour.
We need to support and teach the child other ways to communicate. Sign language is a great tool, as is doubling the impact by praising other children communicating positively.

Positive encouragement
Whenever the child uses their words to ask for something or express themselves, praise them “great kind words”. Whenever they use kind hands, to hug, gesture or ask, praise them “great kind hands”.

If ever you see this child go to bite but chooses not to, praise them “great choices”.
If they go to bite and get very close to it you can intervene and kindly remind them “stop and think”, just before they do (as a means of I intervention, rather than jumping to stop it). This is a valuable interruption that will actually have them stop and think.

If they do bite, keep it short and simple, keep a calm tone “biting hurts”.
Then put ALL of your attention on the person who has been bitten – comfort, nurse, care for. Use your body to create a barrier and always put your back towards the biter (we do have eyes in the back of our head right?). Do all that you can to feed attention in to this poor victim. Change your tone of voice to be so sad for this person. If it is you they have bitten, use your body language to express the hurt, but also turn and walk away from the child who bit.

 

TANTRUMS
Again, a tantrum is s form of communication. They are feeling stressed, frustrated, angry or hurt.
For a tantrumming child, do not give attention to the behaviour. They are working through big emotions. You can hold the space by sitting nearby, hands in the ‘invitation gesture’ and sit calmly and quietly. When there is a natural break in the tantrum, you can reassure the child….
“When you are calm, then you can …. (play, help me find the eggs/whatever it was of is that will be happening next).”
“Show me when you are ready. I’ll wait for you.
Or, alternatively, if your presence exasperates the behaviour, leave the space. Reaasure them with your words, “when you are calm…..”
Give the child the space they need to work through this moment. It will pass.
Use your other senses to observe from another room/area – listen.

Show the child you are not fazed by this behaviour at all. Do not let them upset your inner peace.

If you are in the supermarket and a tantrum hits in full force, you can explain to onlookers before they get a chance to make a comment to you or the child.
Explain “my child is just working through the fact that I he will not be getting ….. today.” You can always reassure onlookers that you are aware the child is feeling frustrated, but they are safe and just working through their emotions.

Positive encouragement
Then, in the sunny moments when the tantrum is over, child is playing and all is forgotten, when the child makes good choices and works through things, at any given chance, praise them!
“Great using your words”.
“Great keeping calm”.
“Great listening”.
This is when the ‘connection’ happens.

 

If things get worse before they get better, which they often do, as these are new strategies to the child… help the child through it.  As things escalate, you can give the child a choice… “would you like to do it (find your calm) by yourself or would you like my help?”
Either choice is ok. Respect and value their voice. “Great choice”
If they choose help, ask them “great choice, what can I do to help?” Because let’s face it, we don’t actually know, so let’s hear them out, show present and connect.

 

Challenging behaviors foster great learning and reflection for us adults.  They challenge us mentally, emotionally and physically.  But, there is even more happening for the child.  They are busy trying make sense of their world, working out how to connect and do good by others.  Let’s work with them and teach them how.  They want to make us smile, they want to be happy and kind, they want to connect with us and others. Let’s help them out and show them what gets positive attention and helps them to be a kind friend.  Praise the behaviours you want to see.

 

I hope this helps you foster communication and strengthen connections with the children in your care.

I’d live to hear your feedback, questions and/or reflections.

Much love
Nickie

Tips for starting at a new ECE centre/learning setting…

Feb19

I was asked to share an “Insiders perspective to those tearful drop offs to preschool/ ece”.

 

Before ‘starting’ preschool, please, chose wisely. Do your research. Visit centers. Talk to other mums. Read their philosophy and spend time in there before you make the final call. Dont just choose that centre because they have lower fees.

 

First child, first timers, first transition…  this can be tough on both child and parent!

I want you to put yourself in your childs shoes for a minute. They have no concept of what this place is, its benefits, the people, the sounds, the rules, the way the teachers talk, even the concept of being ‘dropped off and picked up later’.

A robust transition is crucial!  Take time to visit with your child.  Visit. Lots. This time allows you and your child to grasp the sounds, the routines, the way of life in this space, the expectations, the people, the feel.  Visit at different times during the day.  When your child shows confidence to move away from you to play, or forms a connection with another child or teacher, work towards leaving for an hour, go treat yourself to a coffee and a tasty treat.

 

The First day

The first official day can be tough, on both of you. The build up can be scary. Try to stay calm as your child will feel your tension.

Talk to your child about going to play in this space, making new friends and doing things they enjoy.

It is important to show your strength and trust in this space, as your child will be gauging off you and sensing your emotions. Your child needs to know you have made a good decision, because you trust the place and people in this space. If you dont show and believe this, your child definitely won’t. Stay strong. You can cry all you need when you get to the car.

When you arrive on ‘official day one’, sign your child in, drop off their bag and lunchbox etc, say hello to teachers and children as you pass by and ask your child if they would like to ….. or ….. (2 choices).

Choices are great because they allow the child to feel they have power in the situation. These choices need to be things the child is ‘allowed’ to do at this time (dont suggest playing outside if the doors are closed and there is no teacher out there). These choices also need to be 2 things you know they like or are interested in.  You know your child and you are doing what you can to help them settle in for a positive day.

As soon as your child chooses, you can tell them you will stay for 5 minutes, show them 5 on your hand.
Then, when you feel they are in a good space, or if things are getting emotional and anticipation is building, you follow with “2 more minutes and then mum is going to go do her work” – show 2 on your hand (fingers).

Your child will then understand time is nearing. At this point if your child is not engrossed in something, you can suggest they show you something, reads one book, or simply prompt them with something you know they enjoys “perhaps we can see who’s working in the sandpit”.

Your child cannot tell the time. The point here is you are showing time is getting less. You are the adult. If you see anticipation building, make the minutes very short. The minute concept is symbolic.

If you feel your child is going to kick off, when you give them the 2 minute warning, tell one of the teachers, who has made the best connection with your child, that you are going to go soon and could they support your child when you go.

Its valuable to have a consistent teacher (the same one) for settling your child. That way the approach will always be the same, you will form a bond with that teacher and you will have consistent feedback.

Soon after the 2 minute call, follow with  “1 more minute” show one finger.

…Shortly after the 1 minute call, “Its time for me  to go now. I will be back to pick you up soon.
Would you like a hug or high five?”

Please dont just ‘sneak away’. This is a shore fire way to make your child feel abandoned. You MUST  say goodbye and reassure your child that you will be back! ‘Mum always comes back’.

Then do it (high five or hug) say ‘see you soon’ and go. Short and sweet. Turn your back, hold your head high and walk out the gate. You can cry all you want in the car. Remember, you chose this place for your child. Have faith. Trust in your decision that your child is in good hands.

You can always call to check in. I advise you do so, particularly if your child was not happy when you left. Give it 30 minutes, then call. Ask questions. How is my child now? Have they settled? How long did it take? What is my child doing now?

If on any of these calls 30 mins after you leave, your child has not settled, you can ask ‘do you feel it would be best if I come back and collect my child?

If they say no that your child is calming, working through it, or in the process of settling, call an hour later.
If you ever call after a few hours and your child hasn’t settle and isn’t engrossed in play, go and collect them.

When you do this, it’s really valuable to spend time with your child in this setting, on pick up.
Show them you trust the space and they  will learn to trust it too.

 

Follow the same routine each day. Consistently. Kia kaha! Stay strong!  Things will ease as your child finds their place and starts to build relationships.

 

Find your calm so you can stand strong.

 

I hope this helps!

 

 

Tap the link below to read more about supporting children through transitions…

Supporting children & families through transitions

 

 

I invite you to leave comments and feedback below.

 

Much love,

Nickie

 

Team dynamics – work with others harmoniously

Feb18

A few weeks ago, a friend called me. She was expressing her struggles at work. She wasn’t getting along with her colleagues and there was so much negativity and team morale was down. She was finding it hard to get motivated to go to work each day.

Days later, I saw a post on facebook, a teacher upset that one team member was dragging the team down with negativity and abruptness with children.

Then, on the launch of my blog, I recieved this….

“We are struggling at the moment with team work. Some people are doing too much,  some people not enough.  Inappropriate conversations/negative thoughts etc. Would love your ideas/input about it”.

–Instagram follower.

 

No one wants to feel this way. No one wants to feel like they are doing all the work, or be brought down by one negative person. We all want to feel supported by the team in a team environment and feel joy as we walk through the gate/doors to our workplace. We all want to work in a place where we are empowered… right?

I have learned that the strategies we use with children are just as valuable, relevant and effective when used with adults, in teaching and in life in general.

Nearly 10 years ago, I attended ‘The Incredible Years’ professional development course. This course had some real gems that have stuck with me. “Where the attention goes, the behaviour grows” is one of my faves and is so relevant here.  Praise the behaviour you want to see.

 

How do we tackle the challenge of some people working harder than others?

Praise the behaviour, efforts and practices you want to see.

Face to face – high fives and thank yous go a long way.  You can do this in front of others or quietly,  one on one, but to double the impact, be sure to highlight these efforts later with others.

Leave personalized notes for individual teachers to find, recognizing their efforts in practice.  You can target individuals with them – if there is someone who always does the washing, put one on the washing machine for them. If they work in the kitchen, put one in the microwave.  Get creative. Have fun.

 

Leave quotes around that capture the essence of team work.

 

“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much”.

-Helen Keller

“Coming together is the beginning.

Keeping together is the progress. 

Working together is success”

-Henry Ford.

 

Set out to make their day, spread joy and foster a culture of kindness.

 

How do we tackle inappropriate/negative conversations?

We shut then down. We dont feed in to them or give them attention. There is no place for this is teaching.  Children download us at such high rates they are taking it in without us even realizing. Not just our words, but our body language.

 

“Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate”

-unknown

“Dont worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you”.

-Robert Fulghum

 

We need to put emphasis on the conversations and behaviours that are acceptable.

Put challenges out to your team…

IMG_4138

 

Quotes are powerful. Use quotes to foster reflection and highlight the behaviour and practices you want to see.  It is so easy to find relevant quotes on Google. Just type in ‘communication quotes’ or ‘teamwork quotes’.

Seek quotes that capture the behaviour/practices you want to see more of.

 

“The word LISTEN contains the same letters as SILENT.

Think about that.”

-Alfred Brendel

 

“Hold your tongue and protect their bubble”

-Heart School

 

“Before you speak, THINK… is it

T-rue

H-elpful

I-nspiring

N-eseccary 

K-ind?”

-Alan Redpath

 

Place the quotes in creative places, you want to make people smile. When they are found, use this moment to foster reflection, discussion and double the impact…. ask a thought provoking question… “that’s a really powerful quote, perhaps you could share your thoughts about it with another teacher? What do you think about that? How does it make you feel? In what ways do you feel we do this well? Can you come up with a way we could do this better?”

There comes a point when we need to step up and take responsiblity for what we believe, be the change we want to see. Let’s not leave it up to the boss, or leader to create this space for us. Let’s show them how it’s done. Then, we can all benefit; mentally, socially, emotionally and physically.

 

So my advice to you is to foster the change you want to see. Put in some effort to make your workplace a more positive place for all. Kindness, motivation and inspiration is contagious. Lift the morale. Bring in some fresh cut wild flowers, some fruit off your tree, veges from the garden.

We are in this together, so take time and make the effort to value and appreciate your workmates because

 

“where the attention goes,

the behaviour grows”.

 

 

..I will do another blog in the near future that will go deeper into establishing a cohesive unit and fostering unity in practice. But this is one where you will benefit from a strong leader or person to step up and take responsibility to drive and sustain it.

 

 

If you try these strategies or have any feedback, please share below.

 

Arohanui,

Nickie

 

How do we develop self love and self worth?

Feb18

We hear so many people tell us we need to love ourselves and have self worth, but what does that look like and how do we get there?

Let me tell you a story…

In late 2018 I had an old back injury that literally destroyed my physical ability to teach. I worked myself to a point of no return. My passion for teaching and my leadership role kept me working till the bitter end of my physical ability, but for what?

Since then, I have, and continue to, live in chronic pain. I have been through two surgeries on my lower spine and am now 4 weeks post spinal fusion and am hopeful for a good strong recovery.

In the last 18 months, I have had to find strength I never knew I had. I have had to learn to enjoy my own company. Perhaps most significantly, I have had to find peace in the fact that my life has done a 360 degree turn, no longer allowing me to do the two things I enjoy most in life…. teach and dance. (I’m not talking fancy dance, just creative expression, my emotional outlet, you know, the good old dance party in the lounge!) I was no longer able to do the two things that brought me the most joy in my life.

I had to develop self worth as my ‘self’ literally changed over night and I had a new self to find love for.

So, what did I do?

After 2 weeks of serious depression, literally counting down, not days or hours but minutes, just to get through the days, I knew deep in myself that I was the only one that could help me. Only I could help myself out of this.

But how? What am I going to do?

We talk about Angel’s…. I was given this book of quotes, ‘Be Strong’ in a gift basket from my work colleagues.

 

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”

–Bob Marley

 

This was the start.

I read every quote, many times over. They made me think. They helped me realise the sun comes up tomorrow and I might think it’s bad now but I could actually be so much worse off.  I still had my active, passionate, knowledgable mind, my kind heart and my soul.

I bought some mindfulness magazines… ‘Flow’, ‘Mindful with Nadia Lim’, ‘Breathe’ and ‘Frankie’. Not all at once of course… they were a tad pricey on 80% of a teachers wage.

I read through and started vision boarding…. cutting out things that brought me joy, helped me feel strong. This gave me something positive and happy to focus on.

I spent time in nature, because, lets face it, nature is healing. I couldn’t go far, so the back yard, was it. Listening to the birds, looking at the trees up close, picking greenery and the odd flower to bring inside, smelling the fresh air and feeling the grass beneath my feet. I just spent time outside, breathing, finding presence and peace. I lay in my hammock and I took photos of nature’s beauty. All these things brought me joy.

As time got on and I became content being in my own company, fighting this battle as the only one who actually knew what I was going through, managing to get through the days, hopeful things would get better, I had to start thinking about my future.

What does my future look like? I can’t go back to teaching children. My body is too precious. But I have 18+ years of experience and passion I’m not going to let go to waste.

So I started dreaming, planning, writing and visualising opportunities. This kept me focused on my future and what I have to fight for.

I fought. I fought through this time and I continue to do so. This journey is not yet over. But I have found love for myself, peace in that my life has yet so much more to offer and strength knowing that I have so much to give.

It is so true, you dont know what you’ve got until it’s gone. For me… it was my physical ability to move, without pain and with freedom.

 

“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength”.

–Alex Elle

 

Alex Elle captures it. I am so thankful for this experience because I wouldn’t be half the person I am today without this learning journey.

I am the best me I have been in the 35 years of my existence. I may be living in chronic pain, but my mind and heart are stronger than ever.  And I did it! All by myself! Pain and all, my mind is strong.

 

 

So, how do we develop self love and self worth?

Listen, to your inner being.

Spend time in your own company.

Immerse yourself in nature, uninterrupted.

Breathe.  Believe.

Do what brings you joy.

Surround yourself in positive people and things that help you feel positive. Quote books are so good when we give them the time they deserve, to reflect.

Exercise in nature – I did and still do, all of my physio exercising outside whenever possible.

Award yourself the time you deserve! Because you deserve it! Daily!

 

Finally, let your inner voice be the kindest voice you know.

 

Arohanui,

Nickie

Seeking inspiration, guidance, support?

Feb17

Ask me anything.

Hit me with your questions and challenges.

I’m here to help!

 

Is there something you are struggling with in your centre or at home parenting?

Do you want to strengthen your team dynamics?

Do you need support with registration?

Are you seeking practical ideas and strategies?

What are you lacking motivation or inspiration with?

 

I’ll be answering questions and covering all things children and teaching.

Be sure to follow me on

Instagram @ kiwi_roots,

or

Facebook @ Strengthening connections with Nickie

for announcements and notifications of new blog entries.

 

Looking for a mentor or someone to run a workshop catering to your needs?  Message me through Facebook or

Email me @ nickiem@windowslive.com

 

I look forward to talking and sharing with you.

 

Nga mihi nui

Nickie

 

What makes a great teacher and/or parent

Feb17

 

Who we are is how we teach.

 

“We will not be good teachers if we focus only on what we do and not who we are”

-Rudolf Steiner

 

The most important aspect of being a great teacher and/or parent is a commitment to being the healthiest, in body, mind and soul, and the most authentic person you can be.  Now let’s face it, we are all teachers, because someone is always watching and learning from us.

 

Self love, self worth and self growth.  

Self love is vital. We must first appreciate who are, to be able to teach others to believe in and value themselves.

 

“If you do not care for yourself, you will not be strong enough to take care of anything in life”

-Leon Brown.

 

Self worth is a right and we are all worthy. We each deserve to be standing in this space.

 

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what other people think of you”

-Seneca.

 

A good sense of self worth enables us to motivate and inspire others, as we teach through our confidence, belief and empowerment.

 

Self growth is development, drive, vision and motivation. It is vital we are always working to always better ourselves.  Be the best person we can be.  Know and always believe we have good to share.

The more we value ourselves and are committed to self growth, the more powerful and infectious we are as role models, parents, teachers and leaders.

Children and colleagues download how we are with ourselves.  What behaviours and characteristics are we modeling ?  Be mindful of what we are teaching them.

 

 

Do you have the tools and rituals in place to take care of yourself? 

What do you feed your soul?

Do you have a growth mindset?

How do you fuel your passions?

Do you take time for you? 

 

 

Check out this blog entry for more on self love and self worth…

How do we develop self love and self worth?

 

Read this blog entry for more about choosing your attitude…

Its time to change our attitude

 

 

Happy reading!