Archive | August 2020

Believe in yourself. Do what is right for you and your family

Aug30

Perhaps the 2 most common worries I hear from parents and teachers are “am I doing ok?” and “is my child developing ‘normally’?

It is so hard to hear parents and teachers doubt themselves and their practice like this. Sadly, it happens too often.

Self doubt is detrimental. It is detrimental to our own wellbeing and it is also detrimental to those who are looking up to and learning from us, our children.

I am not here to tell you what or how, my blog space is purely to support, reassure, motivate and inspire, without judgement. Ultimately, I encourage you to take care of yourself, connect with nature and teach from the heart.

Lets address these two common questions…

AM I DOING OK AS A PARENT/TEACHER?
This is a reflection of where your head is at. Self belief, self worth, self love. You are doubting because you don’t believe. Let’s talk about that…


#1. Put yourself first
Quality teaching and parenting starts with self. To be the best teacher and/or parent, we need to be our best self. Self belief, self worth, self love. See How do we develop self love and self worth?

When we believe in our self, our worth and strength is reflected in our interactions, our belief systems and our actions.
The mere fact that you are questioning your ability is a sign of deeper thinking and reflection.
I have written before about how ‘we teach who we are’ … see What makes a great teacher and/or parent

Put time and effort into YOU. To become the best version of yourself. In doing so, you radiate and reflect this, which then teaches quality values and inner peace to our young ones.

#2 Know your Values
As part of our self love, worth and belief journey, knowing our values is key. What is important to you?
What do you value and what does this look like?
What do you want for your child/ren?
These values will shape your parenting. They will influence your actions and interactions. This is when we connect Head, Heart and Hands. We feel, we believe, we do. It is not up to anyone to tell you what to value, how to parent or what your child needs. Your family values are going to be different to the next. What is important to you and your family? Take some time to reflect on this, perhaps write your values as a family.

As teachers, we often talk about teaching from the heart.
This reflects the importance of not only being kind to ourselves, but also being kind in our thoughts, interactions and actions.

As teachers, we develop our personal and centre philosophies. These values shape our practice.
In my teaching, I value connection with self, others and nature, through a lense of empowerment. So all my actions reflect this… how I teach, how I communicate and the experiences/environment I provide.

What are your family values?
What do you want for your child/ren?
What does this look like in practice?


#3 Action
When we believe in ourselves and know our values, then we can BE in our parenting and teaching. This is when we connect our Head, Heart and Hands.

Do we want our children to be independent and capable individuals?
Encourage them to do things for themselves. Encourage thinking and problem solving, allowing them the time and space to work things out for themselves. – see Empowering our Young Children

IS MY CHILD DEVELOPING ‘NORMALLY’?
What is ‘normal’? It’s a terrible word…. as is the word ‘just’. Let’s try not use them! Erase then from your vocabulary.

We are all unique. There is noone in the world like you! You are it. This is the same for children too. There is no one like them, with their family, background, values and experiences… They will develop at their own pace, individually.

There are recommended ‘windows’ put out for development but remember, we all come from different places, different situations, different background, siblings, values, beliefs, home life and experiences. So naturally we develop differently. That’s how it is. Not one child is like another. We all have different stories. That’s what makes us who we are! So of course children will hit ‘milestones’ at different times. They WILL hit them!
I personally didn’t talk till well past 2yrs old… I had an older sister who doted on me so much that when I pointed to something, she would tend to my needs. When I did start talking, there was no problem with my language and communication at all.
*Too often I hear people asking how many months old an infant is, to try compare developmental stories (in a centre setting, I believe this information should not be given out freely).
Let’s stop comparing! Dont put that pressure on yourself. We are ALL different. And we all learn, grow and develop at our own pace.

You can always give additional support to your child/ren in areas YOU feel neccessary. But that is up to you, don’t let anyone tell you what your child needs. You research, explore it and do it yourself.

Perhaps you attend professional learning opportunities, read books and talk to people… only take the treasures of learning that resonate with you and your situation. As teachers we also do this. Because what works for one may not for another. Take what you want from these opportunities and leave the rest. The same goes for my blog .. there will be things I write about that will resonate with you and there will be things that may not sit so well…. take only what you want, what you feel is appropriate for your situation, what feels right for you in this moment.
I hope to inspire you to reflect on your parenting and teaching, and support you to be the best you can, for yourself and your children. I share practical strategies to support you, teaching through a lens of empowerment. I share my experience without judgement. My blog is a practical research tool for you, from a passionate and experienced teachers’ perspective.

Ultimately, you know your child best. Listen to your inner voice.

“Let your inner voice be the kindest voice you know “

Making meal times enjoyable for all

Aug7

Kia ora koutou,
After my recent post Keeping it real with meals I had questions about HOW to make meal times more positive.

So, here are my top tips.

*Involve your child in the preparation as much as possible.

*Give them choices (2 at a time), but choices of foods you want then to eat… sandwich or crackers? Apple or celery?

*Use “When ….. Then ….”
“When you eat your …… then you can have a biscuit/cake”

*This one may seem so simple, but it is so important and so effective…. eat together. At the table. It is so important to eat together. This is a time to role model table manners, talk about nurturing our bodies, talk about the good yummy food, talk about what you are grateful for. This is a time to connect. If you are not hungry, just make a small portion of what you are feeding your child.

*Eat the same food as your child. Give your child the same food as you are having… or they will want yours. Show them what you have given them is good enough for you too.

*Turn off all technology. No phone. No tv.

*Grow your own. There is nothing better than picking beans, tomatoes, silverbeet or strawberries straight from the plant!!

“Food should ALWAYS be a pleasure”
-Dr. Emmi Pikler

If you are arguing or getting enraged by the fact your child is not eating, take a step back and ask yourself why? What could you do differently here to encourage positive meals and food as a pleasure not a chore.

Remember, if you say something once, it is vital you follow through. When you don’t stick to what you say it blurs the boundaries and the child gets confused.. This is when you get children challenging you with difficult behaviours because they know they can push you but they aren’t sure how much… until you snap. Dont snap. Stick to your word. Do what you say you will do!! DWYSYWD! This is crucial in parenting and teaching. Stick to what you say.

For more, another perspective, check out
www.penniebrownlee.weebly.com
Article: food_should_always_be_a_pleasure

Plastic or real with meals??

Aug2

I watched a video the other day where adults would give a young child an egg and see what they would do with it and if they would break it. The adults were suprised the child would care for the egg, being gentle and kind.
This made me think about how it is so common for adults to underestimate our young children. Depriving them of lifes simple beauties, joys and opportunities to be seen as capable, gentle and respectful.

When I worked in an infants and toddlers centre a few years ago, the children ate from plastic plates and used plastic cups.
The plastic plates had scratches all over them, the cups had bite marks and bends in them. They were out of shape and looked tacky and cheap.

As we reviewed our eating practices, we had the lens that food should always be a pleasure. Almost immediately, we made the change from plastic cups and plates, to using open glasses and crockery plates. Real teaspoons instead of plastic. Immediately it felt like the children were more valued and trusted, as capable beings. They were viewed as able. We all know it, children always want what adults have. They want the food off mums plate. This highlights the value of keeping it same same. When children are allowed to use real things, they are empowered and it shows them they are trusted. It gives them a sense of confidence and belief that ‘I can’.

Baby food jars proved to be great drinking glasses for our littlest friends – the size was great, only a small amount of water and easily held as their little hands easily grasped around. This was also a sustainable choice.
Glass, crockery, porcelain and stainless steel are sustainable. They last longer and you will have to replace them far less than their plastic counterparts.
Not to mention: Plastic has the potential to leach ‘toxins’.

We had surprisingly few breaks. More in the beginning, but still only a few. The real materials allowed the children to learn natural consequences … drop a glass and it will break. Less table swiping happened. The children learnt to adjust their movements to protect the fragility of their environment.

The glasses seemed to bring more joy and concentration when drinking. There was no more flicking of water from their sippy cups. Children learnt to use two hands to control the glass and to place it on the table instead of drop it. This was a meaningful and real way to learn about kind and gentle hands.
They even helped eachother to remember and they seemed to drink MORE water.

The children soon learnt the plates and cups were heavier than the plastic ones and they weren’t nearly as ‘fun’ to throw. If the children did drop them off the table, it followed with a process to tidy up. Actually most of the breakages that did occur were simply learning accidents – plate sitting too close to the edge, or being knocked off with the back of an arm – encouraging more mindful eating.

Our eating table became a place of beauty and respect. Setting the table became a ritual. We picked greenery and flowers and placed them in a vase, we used placemats filled small water jug and we all sat around together. This created a space of peace, community and sharing. Our meal times lasted longer. Yes there were spills but the process of cleaning them up became learning events. We talked about it, we helped each other and we learnt.

These very young children proved very quickly that they were totally capable. Visiting adults to the centre would notice and comment on the calm meal time and how nice it was to see children using glasses and real plates.

Children were not put in high chairs, they were sitting at a low table with chairs that had sides. If they were not yet able to sit, the baby was held by a teacher who sat at the table with the other children.

When we do everything for our children and act as though they can’t or dont know, then they wont. Ultimately, we can open up a world of “I can, I will, I am”, and they will show us just how capable they are. Let them show us they can. This makes for easier parenting and teaching, as the children are now doing it for themselves. Watch them flourish. They can and they will if only we let them!

Oh and be sure to eat together at home. Even if you are not ready for your dinner, make a small plate of the same. Role model, for this is a teaching moment.